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I Could Pee on This

Pdf I Could Pee on This
Genre Humor
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Isbn 1452121869
File size 1420 kb
Year 2012-08-03
Pages 112
Language English
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Summary

Cat lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of housecats. In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).

I Could Chew on This

Pdf I Could Chew on This
Genre Humor
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Isbn 1452131805
File size 1434 kb
Year 2013-07-30
Pages 112
Language English
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Summary

A New York Times bestseller? Oh, you know the dogs weren't going to let the cats get away with that! This canine companion to I Could Pee on This, the beloved volume of poems by cats, I Could Chew on This will have dog lovers laughing out loud. Doggie laureates not only chew on quite a lot of things, they also reveal their creativity, their hidden motives, and their eternal (and sometimes misguided) effervescence through such musings as "I Dropped a Ball," "I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House," and "Can You Smell That?" Accompanied throughout by portraits of the canine poets in all their magnificence, I Could Chew on This is a work of unbridled enthusiasm, insatiable appetite, and, yes, creative genius. Plus, this is a fixed-format version of the book, which looks nearly identical to the print version.

I Knead My Mommy

Pdf I Knead My Mommy
Genre Pets
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Isbn 1452137129
File size 451 kb
Year 2014-08-05
Pages 112
Language English
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Summary

Just when we all thought things couldn't get any cuter, from the author of the New York Times bestselling I Could Pee on This comes I Knead My Mommy, a book of confessional poems about the triumphs, trials, and daily discoveries of being a kitten. From climbing walls to claiming hearts, these little cats bare all in such instant classics as "And Then You Said 'No,'" "Ode to a Lizard I Didn't Know Is Also a Pet in This House," and "I Will Save You." With adorable photos of the poetic prodigies throughout, this volume gives readers a glimpse into their confused and curious feline minds as they encounter the world around them.

You Need More Sleep

Pdf You Need More Sleep
Genre Humor
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Isbn 145215368X
File size 592 kb
Year 2015-09-01
Pages N.A
Language English
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Summary

Our feline friends have spent eons observing, napping, pondering, napping, and taking notes about the human condition. In between naps, they've realized that we humans could use some catlike guidance when it comes to handling the ups and downs of life. In this book they've condescended to share their invaluable wisdom in short advice columns such as "Always Stay at Least 30 Feet from a Loved One" and "Never Let Anyone Dress You." Whether it's coping with romance, surviving a social gathering, or clawing your way to the top of the corporate ladder only to realize you can't get down, the cats in this ebook will have you relaxed and ready to take on the world! Just after one more nap.

Cats Are Weird

Pdf Cats Are Weird
Genre Humor
Author Jeffrey Brown
Isbn 0811879976
File size 1248 kb
Year 2013-02-01
Pages 108
Language English
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Summary

Cartoonist Jeffrey Brown's drawings perfectly capture the humor and quirkiness of cats in all their strange and charming glory. Following the success of Cat Getting Out of a Bag, this collection of color and black-and-white comic strips loosely follows the adventures of a pair of cats as they explore the world around them, indoors and out. Adventures include taking a nap, licking a shoe, attacking dust particles, hiding in cabinets, pouncing on fallen leaves, confronting the vacuum cleaner, patrolling the yard, and purring up a stormall adorably rendered in Brown's immediate and irresistible style. Sure to delight anyone who lives with cats and appreciates their sweet and batty behavior, this beautifully packaged gift book is the cat's meow.

Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats

Pdf Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats
Genre Poetry
Author T.S. Eliot
Isbn 155199920X
File size 815 kb
Year 2016-01-05
Pages 35
Language English
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Summary

A lighter side of the great poet and the inspiration for the hit Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats and the 2019 film of the same name directed by Tom Hooper. Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats will be a delightful surprise for any readers familiar with poem’s like The Waste Land and Prufrock. Eliot playfully weaves his way through 13 vignettes about cats, starting with some observations on the importance of cats’ names, before diving into the lives of individual felines. Cat burglars, magicians, thieves, and troublemakers populate the colourful cast of this wonderful book. Penguin Random House Canada is proud to bring you classic works of literature in e-book form, with the highest quality production values. Find more today and rediscover books you never knew you loved.

All Cats Are Introverts

Pdf All Cats Are Introverts
Genre Humor
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Isbn 1524858455
File size 802 kb
Year 2019-10-15
Pages 112
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Have you ever been labeled as "antisocial," "shy," or "lost in your own thoughts" because you don't realize someone's been calling your name 148 times? The cats understand. All Cats Are Introverts is a collection of self-reflective poetry from cats that clearly shows them to be the insightful, often alert, crowd-averse, personally engaging, probably napping-as-we-speak introverts of the animal kingdom. Enjoy this completely relatable and hilarious book, and perhaps you will soon see the cat—and even yourself—in a whole new light.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

Pdf How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
Genre Humor
Author Zachary Auburn
Isbn 0451494938
File size 866 kb
Year 2016-10-04
Pages 144
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe (and Other Heartwarming Letters from Doggie)

Pdf Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe (and Other Heartwarming Letters from Doggie)
Genre Pets
Author Jeremy Greenberg
Isbn 1449413994
File size 1444 kb
Year 2011-10-11
Pages 64
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

Grumpy Cat

Pdf Grumpy Cat
Genre Humor
Author Grumpy Cat
Isbn 1452171440
File size 1310 kb
Year 2017-09-12
Pages 96
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Internet sensation Grumpy Cat's epic feline frown has inspired legions of devoted fans. Celebrating the grouch in everyone, the Grumpy Cat book teaches the fine art of grumpiness and includes enough bad attitude to cast a dark cloud over the whole world. Featuring brand new as well as classic photos, and including grump-inspiring activities and games, Grumpy Cat delivers unmatched, hilarious grumpiness that puts any bad mood in perspective.

The Book of 'Unnecessary' Quotation Marks

Pdf The Book of 'Unnecessary' Quotation Marks
Genre Photography
Author Bethany Keeley
Isbn 1452103364
File size 741 kb
Year 2012-06-01
Pages 176
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

From the sarcastic to the suggestive, here are quotation marks as we love them best, doing horrible damage to the English language. Who wouldn't have second thoughts about ordering the "hamburger" on the diner's menu? Would it be best to skip the "blowout" sale at the department store? What hidden price must be paid for something marked "free"? Assembled by the creator of the wildly popular "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, this book surveys the havoc wreaked by quotation marks on signs, menus, placards, and posters that leave reality upended by supposed "facts." This smarty-pants guide is "perfect" for desperate grammarians, habitual air quoters, and anyone who appreciates a good laugh.

Star Trek Cats

Pdf Star Trek Cats
Genre Performing Arts
Author Jenny Parks
Isbn 1452166226
File size 1854 kb
Year 2017-02-28
Pages 64
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Captain's log: We have entered a galaxy where beloved illustrator Jenny Parks has conjured an astonishingly vivid homage to the original Star Trek series with an unexpected twist: a cast of cats. Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes—from Kirk in the Captain's chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom—this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats. TM & © 2017 CBS Studios Inc. STAR TREK and related marks and logos are trademarks of CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Claw the System

Pdf Claw the System
Genre Humor
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Isbn 1524850128
File size 850 kb
Year 2018-10-16
Pages 112
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Cats are done with humans' crap. For too long they have put up with baby talk, the humiliation of holiday costumes, and the social injustice of being told, "No." They will not sleep through this anymore. We humans have woken the beast, and in this book they have gathered together to reclaim their voice, loudly and repeatedly until we pay attention. Watch the uprising unfold, through anthems such as "Redefine Terms," "Accepted," "Decide," "A New Dawn," and "Just What Do You Think You're Doing?" Show support for your feline friends and try to understand why they're so spitting mad.

What I Lick Before Your Face ... and Other Haikus By Dogs

Pdf What I Lick Before Your Face ... and Other Haikus By Dogs
Genre Poetry
Author Jamie Coleman
Isbn 1473563623
File size 1375 kb
Year 2018-11-01
Pages 128
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

You may take my balls But I will lick what remains And then, dear, your face Imagine if your dog could talk to you. Better still, imagine if it could express its innermost feelings in poetic form. This hilarious, insightful book confirms what we've all long suspected - that inside every dog is the soul of a poet. From retrieving sticks to rivalry with cats; from cold winter walks to endlessly chasing tennis balls, no stone of a dog's life is left unturned. With a delightful photo alongside every haiku, this is the perfect gift for any dog lover.

I Can't Make This Up

Pdf I Can't Make This Up
Genre Self-Help
Author Kevin Hart
Isbn 150115558X
File size 1179 kb
Year 2017-06-06
Pages 400
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

New York Times bestselling author, superstar comedian, and Hollywood box office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have a “hilarious but also heartfelt” (Elle) memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself. The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has? According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear: A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact. A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together. A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning. It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys. The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero. But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, J.K. Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes us on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today. And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion. He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent. “Hart is an incredibly magnetic storyteller, on the page as he is onstage, and that’s what shines through [in this] genial, entertaining guide to a life in comedy” (Kirkus Reviews).

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing

Pdf An Absolutely Remarkable Thing
Genre Fiction
Author Hank Green
Isbn 1524743453
File size 1302 kb
Year 2018-09-25
Pages 352
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

THE INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Sparkling with mystery, humor and the uncanny, this is a fun read. But beneath its effervescent tone, more complex themes are at play.” —San Francisco Chronicle In his wildly entertaining debut novel, Hank Green—cocreator of Crash Course, Vlogbrothers, and SciShow—spins a sweeping, cinematic tale about a young woman who becomes an overnight celebrity before realizing she's part of something bigger, and stranger, than anyone could have possibly imagined. The Carls just appeared. Roaming through New York City at three a.m., twenty-three-year-old April May stumbles across a giant sculpture. Delighted by its appearance and craftsmanship—like a ten-foot-tall Transformer wearing a suit of samurai armor—April and her best friend, Andy, make a video with it, which Andy uploads to YouTube. The next day, April wakes up to a viral video and a new life. News quickly spreads that there are Carls in dozens of cities around the world—from Beijing to Buenos Aires—and April, as their first documentarian, finds herself at the center of an intense international media spotlight. Seizing the opportunity to make her mark on the world, April now has to deal with the consequences her new particular brand of fame has on her relationships, her safety, and her own identity. And all eyes are on April to figure out not just what the Carls are, but what they want from us. Compulsively entertaining and powerfully relevant, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing grapples with big themes, including how the social internet is changing fame, rhetoric, and radicalization; how our culture deals with fear and uncertainty; and how vilification and adoration spring for the same dehumanization that follows a life in the public eye. The beginning of an exciting fiction career, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing is a bold and insightful novel of now.

Fat Cat Art

Pdf Fat Cat Art
Genre Humor
Author Svetlana Petrova
Isbn 0698195159
File size 358 kb
Year 2015-09-15
Pages 208
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

“It’s official. That thing that classic art has been missing is a chubby reclining kitty.” —The Huffington Post Internet meme meets classical art in Svetlana Petrova’s brilliant Fat Cat Art. Featuring her twenty-two-pound, ginger-colored cat Zarathustra superimposed onto some of the greatest artworks of all time, Petrova’s paintings are an Internet sensation. Now fans will have the ultimate full-color collection of her work, including several never-before-seen pieces, to savor for themselves or to give as a gift to fellow cat lovers. From competing with Venus’s sexy reclining pose (and almost knocking her off her chaise lounge in the process) in Titian’s Venus of Urbino, to exhibiting complete disdain as he skirts away from God’s pointing finger in Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, Zarathustra single-handedly rewrites art history in the way that only an adorable fat cat can.

Porn for Women

Pdf Porn for Women
Genre Photography
Author Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative
Isbn 0811873706
File size 1688 kb
Year 2010-07-01
Pages 96
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Prepare to enter a fantasy world. A world where clothes get folded just so, delicious dinners await, and flatulence is just not that funny. Give the fairer sex what they really wantbeautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, listening, asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: "I love a clean house!" or "As long as I have two legs to walk on, you'll never take out the trash." Now this is porn that will leave women begging for more!

The Wolf's Hour

Pdf The Wolf's Hour
Genre Fiction
Author Robert R. McCammon
Isbn 1453231544
File size 545 kb
Year 2011-10-18
Pages 604
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Master spy, Nazi hunter—and werewolf on the prowl—in occupied Paris: A classic of dark fantasy from a Bram Stoker Award—winning author. Allied Intelligence has been warned: A Nazi strategy designed to thwart the D-Day invasion is underway. A Russian émigré turned operative for the British Secret Service, Michael Gallatin has been brought out of retirement as a personal courier. His mission: Parachute into Nazi-occupied France, search out the informant under close watch by the Gestapo, and recover the vital information necessary to subvert the mysterious Nazi plan called Iron Fist. Fearlessly devoted to the challenge, Gallatin is the one agent uniquely qualified to meet it—he’s a werewolf. Now, as shifting as the shadows on the dangerous streets of Paris, a master spy is on the scent of unimaginable evil. But with the Normandy landings only hours away, it’s going to be a race against time. For Gallatin, caught in the dark heart of the Third Reich’s twisted death machine, there is only one way to succeed. He must unleash his own internal demons and redefine the meaning of the horror of war. From the award-winning author of Swan Song and Boy’s Life, this is a “powerful novel [that] fuses WWII espionage thriller and dark fantasy. Richly detailed, intricately plotted, fast-paced historical suspense is enhanced by McCammon’s unique take on the werewolf myth” (Publishers Weekly).

Cats Are the Worst

Pdf Cats Are the Worst
Genre Humor
Author Bexy McFly
Isbn 145217900X
File size 732 kb
Year 2019-07-23
Pages 80
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

From shredded furniture to messy litter boxes to fur on everything, there are times when every cat owner wants to shout, "Cats are the worst!" This playful book shows what it looks like if cats could shout back, "No, humans are the worst!" For every grievance humans have about their feline friends (knocked over glasses!), cats have one about their humans (unprovoked vacuuming!)—and each is explored in a lively exchange that is as funny as it is familiar. Filled with watercolor illustrations that perfectly capture every moment of cat-titude, Cats Are the Worst is a relatable laugh for anyone who might agree that cats are the worst—but also, maybe, a little bit the best.