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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

Pdf How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
Genre Humor
Author Zachary Auburn
Isbn 0451494938
File size 658 kb
Year 2016-10-04
Pages 144
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

Crafting with Cat Hair

Pdf Crafting with Cat Hair
Genre Crafts & Hobbies
Author Kaori Tsutaya
Isbn 1594746893
File size 892 kb
Year 2013-05-21
Pages 96
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting with Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!

How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity

Pdf How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity
Genre Humor
Author Patricia Carlin
Isbn 1594746842
File size 1933 kb
Year 2014-04-01
Pages 128
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

The Internet offers an unprecedented opportunity for cats to become superstar “personalities” with revenue-generating multimedia brands—but only if you know how to cash in. With How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity, readers can unlock the secrets of grooming your kitty for success, creating a terrific viral video, managing your cat’s burgeoning stardom, and much more. Packed with practical tips and helpful diagrams, this indispensable resource shows how ordinary housecats can follow in the venerable pawprints of the Internet’s brightest stars.

Crap Taxidermy

Pdf Crap Taxidermy
Genre Humor
Author Kat Su
Isbn 1607748215
File size 1900 kb
Year 2014-09-09
Pages 96
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

A humorous look at what happens when taxidermy goes terribly wrong, by the founder of the hit website crappytaxidermy.com. A relaxed toad enjoying a smoke and a brew. A cat with eerily flexible front legs. A smiling lion with receding gums. Whether you choose to laugh or cringe at these spectacularly bad attempts at taxidermy, you won't be able to tear your eyes away from the curiosities inside. This volume brings together the very best of the worst (along with a DIY "Stuff Your Own Mouse" lesson by an Insect Preparator from the American Museum of Natural History), showcasing the most perverse yet imaginative anatomical reconstructions of the animal kingdom you'll ever see.

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

Pdf How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack
Genre Humor
Author Chuck Sambuchino
Isbn 1607741083
File size 561 kb
Year 2010-11-09
Pages 112
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

I Could Pee on This

Pdf I Could Pee on This
Genre Humor
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Isbn 1452121869
File size 1366 kb
Year 2012-08-03
Pages 112
Language English
File format PDF

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Cat lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of housecats. In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).

Uncle John's Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness Bathroom Reader

Pdf Uncle John's Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness Bathroom Reader
Genre Humor
Author Bathroom Readers' Institute
Isbn 1684129885
File size 964 kb
Year 2019-09-03
Pages 512
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

It’s all about the facts—and Uncle John is back with a ton of them! For the 32nd year, Uncle John and his loyal researchers have teamed up to bring you the latest tidbits from the world of pop culture, history, sports, and strange news stories. If you want to read about celebrity misdeeds, odd coincidences, and disastrous blunders, Uncle John’s Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness has what you need. With short articles for a quick trip to the throne room and longer page-turners for an extended visit, this all-new edition of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader is a satisfying read.

Pussweek

Pdf Pussweek
Genre Humor
Author Bexy McFly
Isbn 1452182183
File size 718 kb
Year 2020-05-05
Pages 158
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

Pussweek: A Cat's Guide to Feline Empowerment is full of hilarious spreads, quizzes, and advertisements, as well as top-notch photos of cats in all their cuteness and weirdness. Based on the magazine series Pussweek, written "by cats, for cats," this book is a feline parody of fashion and celebrity gossip rags. In a market saturated with "cat shaming," Pussweek gives cats their claws back. With an intelligent editorial voice of their own, these cats don't want dumb memes—they want you to stop secretly filming and posting them on the internet, and they want to empower all of the other feline friends out there who are sick of human nonsense. • With their own forum, these feisty cats provide a rare look into the private lives of felines everywhere. • Filled with articles of a caliber of humor that are clever and a little bit edgy, while still not above a well-placed cat pun • A collector's edition featuring some of the series' most popular articles, like "Diary of a Catnip Addict," "Fifty Shades of Stray," and "Queen of the Tomcats: My Big Fat Gender Identity Crisis," as well as tons of all-new material from cats who have a lot of dirty laundry to air Every cat owner has wondered: 'What the heck is my cat thinking?' and Pussweek will hold all the myriad answers in one big volume full of outrageously cute (and simply outrageous) cats. From scandalous pawparazzi pics to revealing litter quizzes, hairy exposés to tell-tail interviews, you will finally find the feline empowerment that lies within you—and don't take a doggone no for an answer. • Great for cat owners and cat lovers of all stripes • Based on the wildly popular Pussweek magazine • Perfect for fans of How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You by The Oatmeal, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives by Zachary Auburn, Breaking Cat News: Cats Reporting on the News that Matters to Cats by Georgia Dunn

A Field Guide to the Aliens of Star Trek: The Next Generation

Pdf A Field Guide to the Aliens of Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre Fiction
Author Zachary Auburn
Isbn 1942099320
File size 1220 kb
Year 2017-09-14
Pages 200
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary

ONE KID’S CONTINUING MISSION: CATALOG ALL ALIEN LIFE FROM STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. These are the voyages of Joshua Chapman. In 1990 at 11 years old, he wrote a field guide to the alien races of Star Trek: The Next Generation for school. He continued the project through his awkward teen years and into reluctant adulthood. Boldly go from season to season and learn about Acamarians to Zibalians. Explore strange new feelings, like Joshua’s obsession with Data, and Joshua’s angst toward his mother, who’s more terrifying than a Yridian’s face. Engage... with humanity at its weirdest. “One of my favorite artistic discoveries of the last few years, in any medium. It's funny, touching, wholly convincing, and even profound—the kind of book you'll want to give to every misfit adolescent you now know or once did, which is to say everyone who was ever worth knowing.” –Kevin Brockmeier, O. Henry Prize winning author of Things That Fall from the Sky

The Boss, and How He Came to Rule New York

Pdf The Boss, and How He Came to Rule New York
Genre Fiction
Author Alfred Lewis
Isbn 504054331X
File size 459 kb
Year 2018-12-20
Pages N.A
Language English
File format PDF

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Summary